Saturday, February 28, 2004
Used to be that i believed in something
Used to be that i believed in love
It's been a long time since i've had that feeling
I could love someone
I could trust someone
I said i'd never let nobody near my heart again darlin'
I said i'd never let nobody in
But if you asked me to
I just might change my mind
And let you in my life forever
If you asked me to
I just might give my heart
And stay here in your arms forever
If you asked me to
If you asked me to
Somehow ever since i've been around you
Can't go back to being on my own
Can't help feeling darling since i've found you
That i've found my home
That i'm finally home
I said i'd never let nobody get too close to me darling
I said i needed, needed to be free
(but if you asked me to...)
Asked me to, i will give my world to you baby
I need you now
Ask me to and i'll do anything for you baby, for you baby
If you asked me to
I'd let you in my life forever
If you asked me to...
Heart of Crystal
What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla
hm. haven't done quizzes in a long time..
feel horrible now.
got so many things i wanna and definitely need to do.
but i jus HAD to fall ill now.
worst thing is that its a SORE THROAT!
grr. this sucks.
feeling so so sick right now.
haiz...
thought i could enjoy the wkend and actually get down to study.
but greedy me had to eat chocs last night.
despite e dry and slightly painful feeling in my throat at that time already.
it really makes me wonder why i do the things i do.
haiz... ohwells.
a price i gotta pay for my own greediness? maybe.
nothing much really happened these couple of days lah.
same ol' boring stuff.
thursday went down to support our seniors!
they played quite well.
especially in e 2nd half.
ended with a score of 17-0! whee~!
so if they score... 3 or more goals? their in e next round.
i think. yeah.
all e way seniors! jiayou!
yesterday, o' level results! were released.
okae. doesn't exactly concern me.
but hey! im concerned for all my frens yah?
bro did exceptionally well.
at least for his own standard.
and come to think of it, it'll be pretty tough to beat him?
argh. i'd better beat him!!! -feels sense of determination-
i think on the whole, e monchis did quite well?
but SN didn't i guess.
don't be sad kaes? wads done is done...
wendy! hey gurl! dun be upset or anything kae? ajc ain't that bad either... all e way gal! if you need someone to talk to rmb i'm alwaes here kaes! (: takkaire dear! mwahs. -BEEGtighthugg-
had training ytd too.
was quite okae lah.
at least everyone played better than e previous training.
seems like being pissed and all during that period of time seems to have become a custom... or sth like that. -shrugs-
been eating dinner out myself there couple of days.
with mei, rui, teresa and jingyu.
yeah. so quite broke. hee.
went to school for 200m heats.
think i've sorta deproved?
the timing is REAL slow.
but it seems to be below e qualifying time by... bout 3 secs?
jus hope i wun get into finals. -fingerscrossed-
aft that i trained in e gym with jialun.
thn went to cine for lunch with her.
ate pastamania! ocean-baked pasta!
went to heeren aft that.
ate at crepes&cream!
i ate e brownie! yummy!!!
spent a total of $17 going out todae. diee.
Walk softly through the
Desert sands
Careful where you tread
Underfoot are the visions lost
Sleeping not yet dead
Hang on - winds starting to howl
Hang on - the beast is on the prowl
Hang on - can you hear the
Strange cry
Winds of change are blowing by
Mountains crumble and cities fall
Don't come to an end
Just lie scattered on the
Desert floor
Waiting for the wind
hm. change.
i think i've kinda changed.
i feel it myself.
maybe its cos of e new pple i meet in everyday life.
esp after i came to sec school.
as life became more complicated and people around me have changed.
i seem to have... changed too?
for one, i think i've become more tempremental?
somehow i wish life could be back to like it used to.
but i guess thats never gonna happen...
but life isn't all too bad now i suppose.
okae. i dunno wht i'm talking... ignore me.
hope i can actually get down to work and start studying.
higher chinese test on monday and bio on tuesday.
DIEE. plus monday i'm going down to support my seniors.
better start mugging soon...
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
do you believe in love
the way that I do
and when you find the one
wherever u go will travel with you
what do I say
where do I start
to pick up the pieces of your broken heart
tell me one more time
why your heart cannot be mine
look into my eyes and say
that love has gone
and I'll be man enough to walk way
tell me one more time
why your dreams cannot be mine
coz I won't believe its true
until I hear it from you
do u believe in love
there's no right no wrong, no, no,
loves just an open road
with different ways of moving on
I dare you to stay
and watch me now
leaving is taking the easy way out
tell me one more time
why your heart cannot be mine
look into my eyes and say
that love has gone
and I'll be man enough to walk away
tell me one more time
why your dreams cannot be mine
coz I won't believe its true
until I hear it from you
your my life
I want you so bad
and losing you, means losing all that I had
girl this is crazy why cant U see
your the only one
that ever mattered to me
oh baby !
look into eyes
if love has truly gone
I will walk away
tell me one more time
that you cannot be mine
no, I wont believe it
until I hear it
until I hear it from you
hm. been kinda addicted to that song. -points up-
yeah. wonder why.
its jus so beautiful.
and so meaningful. awww.
okae. haven't really been blogging lah.
erm. monday.
lemme recall... hmmm...
looks like nothing much really happened?
yeah. e usual boring stuff.
skool. homework. blahblah.
thn stayed back aft skool till bout 6.
finished studying my history!
so went home.
jus slacked about.
bro came home.
he was supposed to test me history.
ended up playing his cds and singing.
GODD. hm. but we 'chatted' lah.
sort of at least.
seems like SOMETIMES he can be...a friend?
okae. i dunno what i'm saying. but yeah.
slept at like 12 plus.
missed 'westside story' though.
ohwells.
yesterday... hm.
nothing mush AS USUAL.
during recess ran 5rds.
what an accomplishment!
wanted to run 6 actually.
but decided to give it a rest lah.
dunno why i was feeling so energetic.
found out tht i was put in 4 events for sports day!
whn i didn't even try out for any.
grr. think this yr i really 'grown old'.
really hope i dun pull e team down in relays.
individual... jus not counting on getting a single medal lah.
aft common test (which was not too bad) went for hse cheer.
thn cabbed down with e pQs to temasek poly.
supported our seniors.
it was a really heart-jumping match.
i video-taped e first half.
teresa did e second half.
i sorta think tht e seniors didn't play well.
kinda off-form? yeah.
it could have been a WIN.
but ended up in an exciting last minute draw.
of cos e dammit referee needed to take his lessons ALL over again.
grr. but crescents was really not too bad lah.
so went back to skool via e schoolbus.
was playing ALOT on e bus.
hahas. so fun!
and xinyi jus thot me another 'trick'.
but was really fun. wahahas.
and todae...
well. it was about the same.
nothing exciting happened lah. AS USUAL.
went for mass in e morning.
ASH WEDNESDAY.
didn't eat recess and spent it in e DNT rm.
watched e video of ytd's match.
had training...
everyone was playing off-form todae.
maybe its the weather.
or its jus sth wrong with ALL of us. damn.
anywaes. during e match.
was a wee bit pissed lah.
many reasons.
think rui shud know why lah.
cos we were in e same team.
thn aft that bought my dinner frm macs and went home.
got LOADS of hw to complete. :(
stupid. plus i'm so frigging tired.
god save me!!!
hope i can complete them tonight before i doze off.
two tests next wk.
tests that REALLY need to study.
science (biology) and chinese.
bio. nv pay attention in class.
stupid sexual-ed.
and cells and plants and heart.
chinese. nv pay attention either.
but still can manage that one. I HOPE. -gulps-
wish me luck! (:
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Sunday, February 22, 2004
I was down my dreams were wearing thin
When you're lost where do you begin
My heart always seemed to drift from day to day
Looking for the love that never came my way
Then you smiled and i reached out to you
I could tell you were lonely too
One look then it all began for you and me
The moment that we touched i knew that there would be
Two less lonely people in the world
And it's gonna be fine
Out of all the people in the world
I just can't believe you're mine
In my life where everything was wrong
Something finally went right
Now there's two less lonely people
In the world tonight
Just to think what i might have missed
Looking back how did i exist
I dreamed, still i never thought i'd come this far
But miracles come true, i know 'cause here we are
Tonight i fell in love with you
And all the things i never knew
Seemed to come to me somehow
Baby, love is here and now there's
Two less lonely people in the world
And it's gonna be fine
Out of all the people in the world
I just can't believe you're mine
yesterday
hmm. wanted to sleep late.
but was woken up cos my bro's fren came over.
thn kris came over after her cca.
so cudn't sleep anymore.
haiz... so sad. :( hahas.
thn we had lunch.
got dressed.
i wore e new black top frm topshop and kris's jeans.
they were rather big.
was hipsters for me? hahas.
thn kris wore my skirt and a blue top.
mom fetched us to my skool.
met some pple there lah.
thn after signing in, met matthias.
walked ard e skool cos kris wanted to see.
she was like SO fascinated and kept shouting.
thn matt. and i were laughing on e other side.
hahas. was quite funny lah.
went to e drama studio.
met teresa and amanda!!!
went in. we all sat tgt.
matt.,kris and i went to 'fetch' SOME pple.
who ended up going to e wrong gate.sheesh.hahas.
thn went to watch e performances.
was quite okae lah.
some were REALLY entertaining.
sngs one was nice!!! hahas.
had praise and worship.
thn kris teresa and i went to fetch kendrick and gabriel.
whn it was dinner time, teresa and i walked kris out.
teresa and i went to this stairway and started chatting.
at one point we started talking bout matthias.
thn he suddenly appeared! hahas.
we kept asking if he heard anything. he said no. phew!
we went to e canteen.
got a drink and continued chatting.
thn was talentime!!!
was quite nice. SNGS one was BEAUTIFUL!
which therefore landed them with CHAMPS!
after that we went home.
some stuff happened. -glares at hector and teresa-
todae
nothing much.
went for cath. we changed classrm.
thn kris, teresa, amanda, rach, kendrick, francis, joel and i got lectured.
now kris and i are banned by jenn frm sitting upstairs.
damn. grr. so sat dwnstairs.
aft that teresa, amanda, rach and i walked and bus-sed to j8.
ate at longjohns.
amanda went off. errm. hahas.
thn went to buy stuff for teresa's bro.
came home.
thats about it lah.
having sickening piano lessons later.
maths hw can't be done.
silly me forgot to bring home my calculator.
so... jus been lazing ard.
have to go plaza sing sometime this wk.
i see my money has matured and grown wings again.
DAMN. wahahas. okae. lame.
but its flying away... hahas.
hopefully soon enuf i can start saving money all over again.
to all who have been thinking i'm sad... I'M NOT!
jus maybe a WEE bit moody.
bu other than that.
i'm perfectly fine and hyper!!! (:
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Friday, February 20, 2004
There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made
But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby
If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back
There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper
There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever
But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then
But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby
When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
Al coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(It's all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And if we...
hmm. nothing much to blog bout really.
but silly xiaogua aka exclamationlame-o! aka toanisoh is bugging me to.
feel rather accomplished ytd.
did alot of work.
slept at round 12 due to e stupid brochure.
grr. krowpuorgebotdesoppessawtitohti
MOLLY didn't come.
made me rush my hw for NOTHING. bleah.
and xiaogua and jenny were in rather bad moods lah.
anywaes todae we met our new history tchr.
first words whn she came in were "good morning sweathearts!"
err. we all stood and stared at her.
at that instance we knew she was gonna be different.
she called everyone "darling".
AND she allows us to eat sweets in her lessons.
plus she uses alot of really lame but funny examples to bring her point across.
which is really pretty entertaining.
and whn we introduced ourselves she said "oh. u look like a laura."
err. like...okae? wahahas.
anywaes english was pretty fun lah. hahas.
my grp was index 9-16. really fun pple!
alot of lame jokes were cracked and 'debates' were going on.
was really funny lah.
laughed till tummyached and rolled on e floor.
thn had IPW.
we managed to do our work lah.
so was quite okae lah.
but dingting was REALLY funny. wahahas.
wanyin and i were.. crapping as usual.
utterly HILARIOUS.
went for training.
halfway thru i really wanted to cry.
but i held back the tears. wonder why.
hmm. but training was fine lah.
e match was super fun!
we lost to e bdiv seniors by a mere one goal.
but think we all played quite okae lah.
came home and here i am.
there's survivor tonight!
missed it last wk so mus catch it this wk.
hahas. its in... bout 50 mins time.
gotta keep myself occupied...
tatas for now! (:
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Guess i've got a lot of learning to do
About the way that you love.
If it had been left up to me,
I'd given up a long time ago.
But you've got a way of wooing me,
Tender and true,
And though i don't deserve it,
I'm falling into your
Open arms.
Your love has taken hold,
And i can't fight it;
I'm giving in to your
Open arms.
They pull me to you;
They wrap your love around me;
I'll rest in your open arms.
Only yesterday the thought came the to me,
Is your love as deep as they say?
Wonder where those questions come from.
Soon as i learn, i'll chase them away.
'cause i've had a taste of tenderness,
Simple and true,
It drives away the doubting
And draws me into your
Open arms.
Your love has taken hold,
And i can't fight it.
I'm giving in to your
Open arms.
They pull me to you;
They wrap your love around me;
I'll rest in your open arms.
Open arms.
Your love has taken hold,
And i can't fight it.
I'm giving in to your
Open arms.
They pull me to;
They wrap your love around me;
I'll rest in your open,
Open arms.
Your love has taken hold,
And i can't fight it.
I'm giving in to your
Open arms.
They pull me to you;
They wrap your love around me;
I'll rest in your open...(open arms).
I know, i know, i know,
And i can't fight it.
I'm giving in to your
Open arms.
They pull me to;
They wrap love around me;
I'll rest in your open arms (open arms).
hm. haven't blogged for bout... 1 day?
and silly xiaogua aka exclamationlame-o! is complaining.
TSK. hahas.
came up with that new name thingy in one of our expectedly lame BUT funny msn convos. wahahas.
anywaes.
on tuesday... hm.
oh. was REALLY hyper.
yeah. all e way thru.
had elit test.
think i did alright lah.
could be worst i guess.
had training aft that.
twas' okae.
managed to hit a REALLY nice ball.
that was aft e coach cursed taht i would injure my wrist.
wahahas. ohwells.
thn todae!
err. wudn't very much wanna comment lah.
jus that at diff points in e day i got really pissed.
but e rest of the time... pretty hyper.
had home econs test. hee.
hm. thn aft skool me rui and mei rushed to rui's hse to get her cam.
rushed back to skool.
followed e skool bus to temasek poly to support our seniors!
on e way there i wrote a poem.
pqs said it was nice! edeline too!
only stupid mei asked if it was my true feelings.
err. i really didn't noe wht to say.
i didn't noe e real ans myself. or did i?
anywaes i was video gal.
teresa and i helped to video e game down.
err. e outcome of e game wasn't too good lah.
but i guess they all tried their best! jiayou!
thn went back on e best.
erm. dropped off halfway. walked home.
came home. cooked my own maggimee to eat for dinner.
thats about it.
got ALOT of things to do.
haiz. so sian...
life's getting really quite boring lah.
still have stupid big-mouth pple. -glares at SOMEONE-
who's outta destroy or at least disrupt my life.
wahahas. no lah. joking.
jus talking crap.
whats up with me mann!?
anywaes.
life doesn't seem to be going very well for alot of pple.
as for my own life?
i really have no idea.
but i'm jus gonna live life as it comes. and move on.
~life goes on~
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Monday, February 16, 2004
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
To never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.
So i was the one with all the glory,
While you were the one with all the strain.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
And everything i would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings.
It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
But i've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know i know the truth, of course i know it.
I would be nothing without you.
Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything i wish i could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings.
Did i ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything i wish i could be.
Oh, and i, i could fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. you let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
So high i almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
Thank god for you, the wind beneath my wings.
hm. haven't blogged for quite some time.
saturday
hm. valentines day!
well. stayed at home to rot.
wanted to sleep till eatly aftnoon.
but my parents woke me up.
whole family went to united square for lunch.
was kinda in a bad mood lah.
cut my hair! what a HORRID job kaes. grr.
thn came home.
could go out if i wanted to lah.
but... was kinda lazy.
watched grease! WOOHOO!
nice show lah. not too bad. yeah.
sunday
stupid bro woke me up early in e morning. grr.
thn went to church.
same old stuff. cat class.
damn shawn. GODD.
first he PUNCHED and WHACKED my shin! e boniest part of me...
thn i screamed. or hollered in pain. bleahx.
thn he said some disgusting stuff too.
which i refuse to say out in public. stupid idiot.
anywaes. thn went for mass.
got betrayed. grr. -pulls long face-
anywaes. went out aft that.
bought a same top with teresa frm topshop! nicee! :)
thn went home for piano.
and went out with... cheryl, brother, joey jianyang, hector. shizhen went home early.
while waiting for afew of them to come out.
i acted like some lamified shit. wahahas. was SUPER hyper.
but no one was willing to be hyper with me. :(
went to j8.
ate some stuff. chatted?
thn some stuff happened.
went home.
nothing much lah.
and here i wanna apologise for wadeva teasing i did during e lil outing.
SORRY!!! but its all jus for e sake of fun. ahahs.
today!
was kinda hyper lah.
except during class.
was falling asleep. kinda did tho.
hahas. but lessons were dead boring.
can't help it. -shrugs-
went to j8.
collected my photographs.
currently have a huge debt.
grrr. sad sad case.
came home.
found jasper at e lift on e way to my house.
got a shock. hm.
got SO much hw yet to be done.
looks like i gotta rush tonight.
hope things will turn out fine lah.
and i think maybe my moodswings are getting pretty bad?
grr. ohwells.
but i think i'm getting crazily hyper again!
hahas. good or bad?
dunno lah.
hmmm.
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Friday, February 13, 2004
In the quiet afternoon you left and went down into town
And i just watched the empty road behind you
Where the fog lies kissing the mountainside
You want to be sleeping, deep inside
Believing that the hungry world won't find you
Well, that's just fine, that's just fine
You've got to believe and i don't know, i don't know
What i believe anymore
Or whether to leave, or whether to stay
Or what i can say
To make you know
How deep it goes
Somebody turned on the dirty blues
I know you don't like the blues
Cause the words are always the same
And they kind of remind you
Somebody turned the blues on me
I don't like the blues cause i can't see
Through the tears that come and make it hard to find you
Come on down
Come on down
You've got to come lay down here and say those things
Those warm things, right here in my ear
The times that you had that water like wine
So clean and so fine to make me know how deep it goes
Well, that's just fine, that's just fine
You've got to believe and i don't know, i don't know
If i could leave anymore, even though there's a scar
Still fresh from the war, don't think about it no more
Letting new love flow
How deep it goes
hmm.
i think my moodswings were really kinda bad today.
but somehow, i jus feel that these aren't moodswings.
its jus pure irritation.
like as though i'm lost and caught in my own world.
I woke today, i was crying
Lost in a lost world
So many people are dying
Lost in a lost world
Some of them are living an illusion
Bounded by the darkness of their minds
In their eyes it's nation, against nation, against nation
With racial pride
Sounds...
Thinking only of themselves
They shun the light
(shun the light)
They think they're right
(think they're right)
Living in their empty shells
Oh, can you see their bodies thrashing
(so many people, so many people)
Crashing down around their feet
Angry people in the street
Telling them they've had their fill
Of politics, people who kill
Grow... the seed of evolution
(so many people, so many people)
Revolution everyone
It's just another form of gun
To do again what they have done
Let all our brothers come and get some
(so many people, so many people)
Everywhere you go you see them searching
Everywhere you turn you feel the pain
Everyone is looking for the answers
Well look again, come on my friend
Love will find us in the end
Come on my friend
(on my friend)
We've got to bend
(got to bend)
Down on our knees and say a prayer
Oh, can you see the world is pining
(so many people, so many people)
Pining for someone who really cares enough to share his love
With all of us so we can be
An ever loving family
Have we forgotten who loves who
(so many people, so many people)
Children from a family tree
That's longer than a centipede
Started long ago when you and i
Where only love....
(so many people, so many people)
I woke today, i was crying
Lost in a lost world
So many people are dying
Lost in a lost world
So many people, so many people
People lost in a lost world
So many people, so many people
People lost in a lost world
sometimes i jus don't understand why i choose to do and act the way i do.
when deep down in my heart. so many words of hatred seems to be buried there.
if only i knew what was best for myself as well as everyone else.
enough of sad and stupid stuff.
got ALOT of vday pressies todae!
a whole paper bag full!
i didn't even bring enough to go around kaes.
hm. some of e stuff i dun even noe who its frm.
err. oops? yeah.
but most of them i think i noe who lah.
tommorrow's valentines day. so here's wishing one and all...
hmmm. i'm now declaring bankcruptcy.
horrid feeling.
wanna go out tomms.
but CASH-STRAPPED.
and i hate going out when my i can't spend.
so decided to stay home and rot.
best idea ever. plus i wanna catch some shows.
so yeah.
currently home alone.
everyone's out. for one reason or another.
later there's survivor!
can't wait. hope i can keep my eyes open tho.
really shagged. tho training was REALLY slack.
ohwells.
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
I don't know why I did the things I did
I don't know why I said the things I said
Pride's like a knife, it can cut deep inside
Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes
I didn't really mean to hurt you
I didn't wanna see you go
I know I made you cry
But baby
If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that have hurt you
And you'd stay
If I could reach the stars
I'd give them all to you
Then you'd love me, love me
Like you used to do
If I could turn back
My world was shattered, I was torn apart
Like somebody took a knife
And drove it deep in my heart
When you walked out that door
I swore that I didn't care
But I lost every thing darling then and there
Too strong to tell you I was sorry
Too proud to tell you I was wrong
I know that I was blind, and darling
hm. haven't blogged for a few days.
sunday
went for cath n e morning as usual.
was okae lah. lorraine joined us.
had some newspaper activity for opening prayer.
nothing much really.
thn went for mass.
was hit with some devastating news.
felt so... i dunno how to say.
but it was really sad. yeah.
was quite noisy during mass lah.
thn after tht took a taxi to j8! wahahas.
okae. ate at longjohns.
used chilli to write the word 'bitch' on e strofoam plate.
lorraine TRIED to write 'furtweet'.
teresa wrote... 'asshole'.
joel wrote 'f*ck'. yeah.
hahas. mine turned out e nicest!!! -grinns-
thn went to minitoons.
lorraine went off.
took neos!
thn thruout e whole trip there was ALOT of suaning going on.
hmph. was pretty unfair lah.
2 against one. ohwells.
thn went home.
whole family thn went to raffles city.
walked ard e shopping centre on my own.
aft tht met up with e rest and watched some acrobatic act.
ate dinner at e foodcourt. had beefnoodles.
thn bro went to buy BK jus as we were about to leave.
ate in e car.
and SMART ol him spilt e whole cup of coke on e car floor.
my bag happened to act as e mat.
got all soaked.
e car was pretty much dry! wth lor.
grr. my darling adidas bag! stained my idiot bro.
haiz... whats new?!
monday
Everything seemed the same tonite
And then the moon went out
In the middle of the sky
And the rain goin' up again
Let it all come down, let it all come down
You wanna hear how the story goes
You wanna see how you're never told
Where lies this fool's gold
Everytime that you say goodbye, i sit and wonder why
Why all this happiness, now there's nothing goin' on
Everytime that you say goodbye, i'll sit and i'll get high
High on the happy side again
I hear the songs on the radio
But they don't turn me on
I hear the world's been shakin' up again
And the deals been done, and the storm it has begun
You wanna hear how the story goes
You wanna see but you're never told
Where lies this fools gold
was SUPER hyper thruout e whole day.
but as usual.
was met with black and gloomy faces.
it seems to happen everytime i'm crazy.
whn i'm in a bad mood, everyone else is hyper.
haiz...
had lessons as usual.
got back my chinese paper! 36.5/50.
yayee! i passed! wahahas.
went to j8 aft skool with lorraine, meixian, jingyu.
jan joined us aft a while.
took taxi home aft that.
was rushing to be home before mum found out i went out.
heehee. luckily i managed to! whee~!
thn talked on e phone till quite late i think.
parents was nagging as usual.
but AS USUAL i ignored them.
as long as my studies are still doing fine.
think they wun complain much lah.
so... yeah. im pretty much on e safe side.
did some of e vday stuff.
eyes could hardly stay open but i refused to sleep.
got lotsa things on my mind. yeah.
todae
mood wasn't as good as ytd.
guess it was e stuff i was thinking bout lah.
reached skool kinda later thn usual.
7.10. so missed morning jog.
had lessons blahblah.
at one point i jus totally didn't wanna talk.
think meixian and rui might noe why.
was in a slightly horrid mood lah.
had maths test. was okae i guess.
went home early todae.
was home by 4. wowee!
and mum came home at 430.
did some vday cards again.
thn took a short nap.
watched tv.
sorta teared on e 'hai you ming tian'.
was REALLY sad okae. haiz.
so now i'm here...
doubt i'd be able to come online tonight already.
ohwells. got ALOT of hw.
tomms there's home econs prac.
i'm bound to fail lah. haiz.
there's many things on my mind right now.
thinking alot.
pondering alot.
sometimes i really wish time could be turned back.
thn maybe things wouldn't be what it is todae.
and i suppose thats good? maybe.
i guess life's all about taking chances.
but sometimes, i dunno if its e right thing to do.
errrr. i hate this feeling.
better be off now. tatas.
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Saturday, February 07, 2004
Tonight i celebrate my love for you,
It seems the natural thing to do!
Tonight, no one's going to find us,
We'll leave the world behind us,
When i make love to you, tonight!
Tonight i celebrate my love for you,
And hope that you can feel that way too!
Tonight our spirits will be climbin'
To a sky lit up with diamonds!
When i make love to you, tonight!
Tonight i celebrate my love for you,
And the midnight sun is gonna come shining through,
Tonight, there'll be no distance between us,
What i want most of you,
Is to get close to you,
Tonight!
Tonight i celebrate my love for you,
And soon this old world will seem brand new!
Tonight, we will both discover,
How friends turn into lovers,
When i make love to you, tonight!
hm. its my ANNIVERSARY! todae!
hahas. actualli its my 2month anniversary.
of what? nah.
a secret known only to myself.
and maybe cheryl jie.
but yeah.
whee~! hahas.
so therefore i decided to post e song above.
yes. tonight!
wahahas. okae. crap. lame shit.
anywaes. went out with jialun, wendy and doris todae!
first met wendy.
waited for like 20mins for them? grr.
thn we went to plaza sing.
shopped at spotlight for quite long.
thn finally settled e vday stuff.
but only for 15 pple! bleahx.
ohwells. but it cost a BOMB!
so whoever gets it ah.
it may look cheap and simple. but it ain't ks!
hahas. okae.
thn we went to music plaza.
think i saw one of my bro's fren there.
dunno lah. and we tried e pianos.
headed to long johns!
had e kids meal as my lunch. wahahas.
went to carrefour. where i bought whatever left to complete e pressies.
see? its really very ex and full of effort!!!
thn headed home.
me and jialun went to j8 tho.
met cheryl pamela and sihui i think.
yeah. sorry cheryl!
anywaes. we thn went to mos.
and so coincidentally, e music tht came on was e music i kinda hated!
Laura and Tommy were lovers
He wanted to give her everything
Flowers, presents and most of all, a wedding ring
He saw a sign for a stock car race
A thousand dollar prize it read
He couldn't get Laura on the phone
So to her mother Tommy said
Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her
Tell Laura I may be late
I've something to do, that cannot wait
He drove his car to the racing grounds
He was the youngest driver there
The crowed roared as they started the race
'Round the track they drove at a deadly pace
No one knows what happened that day
How his car overturned in flames
But as they pulled him from the twisted wreck
With his dying breath, they heard him say
Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her
Tell Laura not to cry
My love for her will never die
And in the chapel where Laura prays
For Tommy who passed away
It was just for Laura he lived and died
Alone in the chapel she can hear him cry
Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her
Tell Laura not to cry
My love for her will never die
Tell Laura I love her....
we sat there (of cos we bought sth) and did e presents.
after completing. we went home.
nothing much.
mum brought back food for me frm my gramps place.
thn wrote and completed afew more cards.
and here i am! whee~! okae. lame.
hmmm. church tomms.
not exactly looking forward to it lah.
and there's piano!
yuckx. bleahx.
ohwells.
i guess life is jus like this.
full of wondrous AND horrid things.
okae.
i'm mad today.
or should i say hyper.
ahhhh!!!
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Friday, February 06, 2004
Il pense à moi, je le vois je le sens je le sais
Et son sourire me ment pas quand il vient me chercher
Il aime bien me parler des choses qu'il a vues
Du chemin qu'il a fait et de tous ses projets
He thinks of me, i see it i feel it i know it
And his smile doesn't lie when he comes to pick me up
He likes to talk to me about the things he saw
About the progress he made and of all his projects
Je crois pourtant qu'il est seul et qu'il voit d'autres filles
Je ne sais pas ce qu'elles veulent ni les phrases qu'il dit
Je ne sais pas où je suis quelque part dans sa vie
Si je compte aujourd'hui plus qu'une autre pour lui
I believe however that he's alone and that he hangs out with other girls
I don't know what they want nor the sentences he says
I don't know where i am somewhere in his life
If i count more than the others for him today
Il est si près de moi pourtant je ne sais pas comment l'aimer
Lui seul peut decider qu'on se parle d'amour ou d'ami
Moi je l'aime et je peux lui offrir ma vie
Même s'il ne veut pas de ma vie
He is so close to me yet i don't know how to love him
Only him can decide if we talk about love or about friendship
I love him and i want to offer him my life
Even if he doesn't want my life
Je rêve de ses bras oui mais je ne sais pas comment l'aimer
Il a l'air d'hésiter entre une histoire d'amour ou d'ami
Et je suis comme une île en plein océan
On dirait que mon coeur est trop grand
I dream of his arms but i don't know how to love him
He seems to hesitate between a love story or a friendship story
And i'm like an island in the middle of the ocean
It seems my heart is too big
Rien à lui dire il sait bien que j'ai tout à donner
Rien qu'à sourire à l'attendre à vouloir le gagner
Mais qu'elles sont tristes les nuits le temps me paraît long
Et je n'ai pas appris à me passer de lui
Nothing to tell him he knows well that i have all to give
Only to smile waiting for him wanting to have him
But they're sad those nights and the time seems long
And i hadn't learn to live without him
Il est si près de moi pourtant je ne sais pas comment l'aimer
Lui seul peut decider qu'on se parle d'amour ou d'ami
Moi je l'aime et je peux lui offrir ma vie
Même s'il ne veut pas de ma vie
He is so close to me yet i don't know how to love him
Only him can decide if we talk about love or about friendship
I love him and i want to offer him my life
Even if he doesn't want my life
Je rêve de ses bras oui mais je ne sais pas comment l'aimer
Il a l'air d'hésiter entre une histoire d'amour ou d'ami
Et je suis comme une île en plein océan
On dirait que mon coeur est trop grand
I dream of his arms but i don't know how to love him
He seems to hesitate between a love story or a friendship story
And i'm like an island in the middle of the ocean
It seems my heart is too big
hmm. quite a beautiful song.
or at least e lyrics are nice.
title : of love or friendship.
so sweet rite!?
anywaes. today skool was fine.
for one at least i woke up with a rather clear mind.
i think.
hmm. first period was science.
stupid MOLLY keeps staring at me during lessons.
as tho she can't wait to catch me not listening or sth.
so irritating.
thn everytime i talk or wadeva.
she would go "see! dun talk! listen! pay attention!"
like wadeva lor.
blearghx.
thn had history.
got back e test paper!
i passed! I PASSED! wahahas.
13.5/20.
quite okae lah rite.
B3 only. but more thn enough for me!
thn had lessons...
for english i rewrote my WHOLE compo again jus for corrections.
ohwells. thn had IPW.
which was SO much fun.
cos crapped alot with THEguas!
THEguas!
me : bagua!
wanyin : my xiaogua!
amy : nangua!
xiaojia : donggua!
yiwei : ahgua!
amelia : xigua!
jenny : daugua!
jasmine : beigua!
lorraine : laohuanggua!
hmm. hope i didn't miss out anyone.
thn some really funney and pervertic stuff happened. -winkks-
thn had some meeting at e fam lounge.
was so extra!
cos it was for e captains of all 7 sports.
thn i was e only sec 2.
e rest were all sec 3 and 4.
wanted to go but clarity dragged me along.
ohwells.
thn left halfway.
e whole cdiv sat ard and we sorta 'talked'.
thn had training.
training ended early cos it was raining. whee~!
haiz.
dunno if i'm going out tomms anot.
if yes, with who...
either lorraine, jialun and wendy, THEguas or another person.
see first lah.
maybe i wun go out at all.
later there's survivor!!!
can't wait.
hahas. and i jus found myself a lil job.
for every pillow i sell.
i get a commision of 20cents.
courtesy of yu`ai and jessalyn.
hahas. and the pillow is VERY cute and nice.
so people! mus support me ks!
u can get those pillows for ur darlings valentines!
so yeah.
any interested parties, please get to me!
thanx a million in advance!
wahahas.
i think i'm kinda crazy today.
ohwells. tata! (:
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Thursday, February 05, 2004
On a day like today
We pass the time away
Writing love letters in the sand
How you laughed when i cried
Each time i saw the tide
Take our love letters from the sand
You made a vow that you would ever be true
But somehow that vow meant nothing to you
Now my broken heart aches
With every wave that breaks
Over love letters in the sand
not exactly in e mood to blog.
but in order to 'erase' yesterday's horrid entry, i have no other choice.
today was quite okae i guess.
woke up in the morning and was VERY blur. didn't know what was going on around me.
before we left the house, my mum asked me to switch off the kitchen light.
instead i switched on e heater and jus walked out the house.
my mum was like "i thought i asked you to switch off e light?"
and i was "i did what. didn't i?"
i looked and realised i switched on sth else instead.
was very preoccupied. bout what? i dunno.
thn went to skool. layed on e table and took a lil nap.
was damn tired.
skool was okae.
nothing special.
did high jump for pe!
and cos i managed to clear e 1.2m mark, lorraine treated me to a drink! yayee!
had monitor meeting the WHOLE of recess.
got our badges and ties. which was all brand new.
had assembly before skool ended.
there was a debate.
thn e whole of pqs (surprise surprise!) went to amk central.
met connie and *ahem* a guy. wahahas.
wanted to eat western food. but was closed.
so ate chicken rice.
thn went to popular to buy some stuff.
walked home in the rain.
wanyin is my xiaogua! and i'm her caodabuagua!
wahahas.
and together... we're THEguas!
wahahas. okae.
we're pretty lame lah. but its fun! whee~!
anywaes. about ytd.
guess it was jus REALLY serious moodswings.
and the two things tht i said would cheer me up really happened!
hahas. but wasn't really cheered up.
anywaes jonathan called aft i msged him.
thn he was like "what happened? its that time of the month is it?"
WAHAHAS.
tht really cracked me up.
its weird how gals will jus say "its okae. it'll pass. cheer up ks!"
whereas i guy will say "its that time of the month is it?"
hahas. can't stand it.
anywaes i guess i'm okae todae.
maybe still on the sadder side.
but still not that bad.
yeah.
hm. tomorrow there's training!
before that we're gonna have a meeting with ms lim.
me chai and clarity i think.
thn will have a WHOLE team meeting for hockey.
i think.
thn training. we wun train much i guess.
since bdiv's comp is coming up.
ohwells.
there was american idol ytd! HILARIOUS!
and there's gonna be another episode todae.
hope its gonna be ENTERTAINING.
wahahas.
hmmm. nothing much lah.
life's getting kinda boring and unexciting already.
blearghs.
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
So i walk another mile down this crooked road
Clouds rolling in lord it's getting cold
Feeling fine, feel lost, feeling blue tonight
But my only friend is mr. moonlight
Then i see you girl lost in your book of poems
You're in another world,
I should leave you alone
My heart races on i try and hold it back
But like a runaway train i'm about to jump the tracks
Now you say you need a friend
I swear to you if that's what you need
That's what i'll be
But i hope this never ends
I feel there's something more the way
You look at me
And that's all i need to know
I won't question why don't need a reason
We can take our time we can take it real slow
When i see it in your eyes
That's all i need to know
Now we're talking 'bout angels that have lost their wings
This melancholy world and the nature of things
But them there's only silence when your eyes meet mine
Sends a shiver to my soul runs deeper than time
Reciting from your black book you were like some wounded bird
I tried to catch your heart as it fell between your words
You tore out one page and let it blow away
Then you disappeared into your world
It's a place i just can't stay
You say you need a friend
I swear to you if that's what you need
That's what i'll be
But i hope this never ends
I feel there's something more the way
You look at me
All i need to know
I won't question why don't need a reason
We can take our time we can take it real slow
But it's right here in my heart
That's all i need to know
that's all i need to know
That's all i need to know
That's all i need to know
All i need to know
feeling so fcuked up right now. bleahx.
moodswings?
maybe. i dunno wads wrong with myself or anything.
i started off e day SO happy.
such a sad thing to end this day with e WORST mood ever.
argh.
i suppose there's only a couple of people or things that could cheer me up.
but doubt it'll happen. so...
no point thinking.
i have totally no reason for being so ... grrr.
school was okae todae i guess.
training was fine.
nothing much.
life jus sucks whn i have to feel this way.
i can't help it!
ahhhh!!!
i wanna be e happy ol little laura all over again.
but i guess thats NEVER gonna happen.
life's grown more complicated.
things have changed.
people have changed.
i have changed.
EVERYTHING'S changed.
nothing's e same again.
how i wish i could turn back time...
I will always have a cross to wear,
But the bolt reminds me i was there..
So give me strength,
To face this test tonight..
If only i could turn back time..
If only i had said what i still hide..
If only i could turn back time..
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Monday, February 02, 2004
Never before have i seen you look so blue
I can't find a cure and nothing comforts you
But the light at the end of the tunnel
Doesn't shine at the end of the day
Every time you cry
Save up all your tears
I will be your rainbow when it disappears
Wash away the pain
'til you smile again
I will be the laughter in your eyes
Every time you cry
Time has a way of wounding what has healed
What can i say? i know just how you feel
Your soul is dark and troubled
Like a river running wild
Every time you cry
Save up all your tears
I will be your rainbow when it disappears
Wash away the pain
'til you smile again
I will be the laughter in your eyes
Every time you cry
Well, you know that's what i'm here for
I will give you what you need, more
There will be no hesitation
I will reap no reward
Every time you cry
Save up all your tears
I will be your rainbow when it disappears
Wash away the pain
'til you smile again
I will be the laughter in your eyes
Every time you cry
yesterday
went to church.
had cat class. same old place. same old pple. except for sabrina who jus joined.
thn went for mass.
sat at a diff place. sat at e side.
teresa and gang sat behind us.
thn went off to cine for rachel's bdae lunch.
ate at yoshinoya.
me kris teresa and amanda went to take neos aft that.
left e place.
thn went wisma topshop!
teresa tried on some clothes.
thn amanda cabbed home while me kris and teresa went to coffee club to grab a cake and coffee!
yummilicious!
thn went shopping for stuff we wanted.
i bought a roxy bag at pacific plaza! kris too! teresa bought a quiksilver wallet!
thn we went to heeren to try on clothes.
hahas. funnn!!!
thn aft that went home.
todae!
woke up at ard 11.
went for lunch at changi.
thn went to e body exhibition! whee~!
so cool okae. queue was so freaking long! but was quite fast lah.
thn went in.
e exhibits were really... FASCINATING!
i was more interested in e blood veins and all. not so much e skeletons.
thn i was done earlier thn e rest of my family. so walked ard and listened to what pple had to say.
there were many really funny comments made. hahas.
thn dad so kindly gave my 12bucks to spend on anything i wanted to buy at e 'gift' place.
hahas. i bought e whole set of postcards!
gonna put them on my fie ks.
so nice!
nothing else.
hahas.
tomms got test! but i have yet to touch my books. ohwells.
last night was really kinda down.
cos of sth tht happened.
to someone : u really dun have to feel guilty bout anything at all ks. it was jus a super sensitive reaction of mine. so dun worry! (:
anywaes. jan sent me this really funny video tht got me laughing.
thanx evadearesttoiletvisitingpart!
hahas.
wanted to cry everything out. but really coudn't.
so decided to jus go to sleep.
getting really lazy nowadays.
ohwells.
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
