Monday, May 31, 2004
As you look around you
Do you like what you see?
Though it sometimes
Makes you lonely
Do you like being free?
And are you sure you'll be okay
Without my company?
I just want you to be happy
Even if it's not with me
What i'm really tryin' to say
Is that i will be around
Should you find that after all
You can't get by
With what you found
this (^) goes out to wanyin and jessalynn.
it sounds kinda sick and stuff.
but main point is.
look on the bright side of things.
things aren't always bad.
in fact, things can always be good.
its just how you wanna look at stuff.
this goes out to many people ;
and self-mutilation is NOT an option.
came across a pretty cool web page.
you are what you eat !
go check it out !
these are my results...
You sincerely believe that everything around you is beautiful, even though other people may not notice. You are a determined person and set high goals for your life.
You're an unpredictable and strict person. You enter competitions just to taste the sweetness of victory, and love to do lots of travel.
You think positively about the people around you and are never prejudiced. This means others see you as a kind and gentle person. They enjoy listening to what you have to say because they respect you.
You are soft-minded. You find it's too hard to say "No" to others, especially when you are pushed. Quite often, you are taken advantage of because of your soft-minded nature.
pretty nice aye ? hahas.
went to another webbie.
introduced by joanne !
What day are you?
went for a match at delta this morning.
played against crescents. won 1-0.
didn't really play according to the rules.
then went off for lunch nearby.
and headed to meixian's house.
with jessalynn, teresa, rui and jingyu.
played bridge ! and gambled too. (:
coach asked 5 of us to go for nationals selection.
me, meixian, jingyu, rui and teresa.
doubt i'll make it.
if we do get in. (big IF for me)
wthen we'll represent s'pore to go to m'sia.
there we'll play against the different states.
and its as all-expense paid trip.
it'll be pretty cool. i guess.
think i'm coming down with a flu.
got a terrible runny nose now.
DARN.
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Sunday, May 30, 2004
I've paid my dues
Time after time
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand
Kicked in my face
But i've come through
And i need to go on and on and on and on
We are the champions - my friend
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'cause we are the champions of the world
yups. WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS. again. (:
i'm so proud of my team !
top scorer too ! -->lee jingyu
li meixian
lin ruiyin
teresa chong
amanda ong
nothing would be possible without anyone.
i've got ALOT of injuries.
so i'm typing quite slowly now ?
twisted my wrist.
got whacked on the knee and tummy.
got hit by a ball on my other knee.
injured my fingers.
and skin peeled off my right hand.
it was a really long day though.
there was rain and sun.
both the seniors and juniors did well too.
jus maybe down and their luck.
but job well done too guys ! (:
the prizes were nicenicenice though !
-hockey stick
-shoe bag
-100plus
-socks
-coke collectable's bottle
-money ! (total of $150)
-t-shirt
-cd
-and the challenge trophy !
northland wa really sore and stuff.
i cried after the last match. ):
cos it was the worst match i played.
but on the whole i think i was fine.
but we rewrote history again.
both in the school.
and in the competition.
i'm really proud of and to be in my batch.
we really rawk. (:
iloveallofyouSOmuch !
lets rewrite history one more time.
11 a-side here we come !
-
jessalynn, jingyu, rui, meixian and lorraine
came over to my house after skool of friday.
played and cooked and ate.
then went over to lorraine's house to stayover.
i got punched on my nose by teresa in the night.
couldn't sleep after that. it hurt.
then made our way to the padang together.
-
phew. a rather long entry.
there's a friendly with crescents tmrw.
super early at delta.
hopefully i can play.
with all my injuries. ohwells.
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Thursday, May 27, 2004
My intentions are good, i use my intuition
It takes me for a ride
But i never understood other people's superstitions
It seemed like suicide
As i play the game of life
I try to make it better each and every day
And when i struggle in the night
The magic of the music seems to light the way
Ah, intuition takes me there
Intuition takes me everywhere
Well my instincts are fine
I had to learn to use them in order to survive
And time after time confirmed an old suspicion
It's good to be alive
And when i'm deep down and out and lose communication
With nothing left to say
It's then i realize it's only a condition
Of seeing things that way
has been a long and tiring day.
a whole day of duties, duties and more duties.
had math in the morning.
then higherchinese.
then fire drill halfway !
was let off for early recess.
practised some hockey.
went to change to blouse.
went to the drama studio. (and forum)
watched two performances !
put up by marsiling and pasir ris sec.
mingled with pasir ris sec people.
went for reception after that.
then back to class for awhile.
went for assembly.
then started duties for meet-the-parents.
all the way till 6pm ! phew.
early dismissal tmrw ! (:
and school's spent at temasek jc.
for the science fair.
so no lessons. early let-off. (:
got this confusing quote from shizhen ;
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
When i was small, and christmas trees were tall,
We used to love while others used to play.
Don't ask me why, but time has passed us by,
Someone else moved in from far away.
didn't come online ytd.
came home around 11plus?
went to j8 for a movie first.
with pqs minus siewmin and yuai and jessalynn.
watched shrek2 !
it was really cute ! quite funny lah.
then teresa and i accompanied samantha for awhile.
then walked to catholic high.
i guess the chma was okay.
the performers weren't too bad.
and there i have my brother as emcee.
with people coming to tell me how funny he was.
then went home.
had training today.
rained the first half.
so only played 2 games.
in preperation for 4aside.
my finalised team consists of...
ruiyin, teresa, jingyu, meixian and amanda.
practically no lessons tomms.
only will have maths and hcl.
then will have early recess.
then some cluster school interaction.
and then meet-the-parents duty.
that's gonna be my oh-so-INTERESTING day.
got new monitors already !
finally ! no more duties ! (:
and we're gonna change seats.
with lucky draw. fun and exciting !
but kinda scary too. tsk.
calculated my L1R5.
wasn't too good i suppose.
gonna strive to work hard next term !
hopefully i'll succeed.
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Monday, May 24, 2004
Something makes me carry on
It's difficult to understand
What I always wanna find
on the hold a nice day.
HISTORY'S OVER ! (:
crossed that final huge hurdle ! whee !
only had maths lesson today.
slacked the rest of the time.
got back ppr though. 72.7% overall.
i guess its ALRIGHTTT...
could have done better i guess.
history totally pulled me down.
i'm aiming to do much better.
maybe even STUDY for tests.
went to central after school today.
with rui, meixian, jessalynn, lorraine and pokehh.
had fish & chips ! yums.
then i started playing at the playground !
jessalynn joined me after a while.
i know it was really childish !
but i think that realyl cheered me up.
took all worries away.
jus play, play and play.
jus like all the other lil kids.
no worries. jus play and fun.
if only i could do that everyday...
went to meixian's house after that.
helped jess with her science.
played cards, slacked around, ate.
thats bout it. then i went home.
4 periods of math tomms !
someone jus kill me now.
its gonna be SO boring.
as for the other periods,
i guess its gonna be quite slack.
my dreams are fading
i want my life
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Sunday, May 23, 2004
why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow
why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences,
open the gate
It may be rainin',
but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you,
before it's too late
i dedicate the song above to
wanyin ! and christine !
and to whoever not feeling too good now.
It may be rainin',
but there's a rainbow above you
cheer up dearies ! loveyouall ! (:
for some reason i decided to do a quiz.
so took the one below !
You're bubblegum!!! You love to have a good time,
and enjoy being around others who feel the same
way. You tend to be the life of the party, and
people like to be around you as much as they
can.
Which kind of candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
i'm bubblegum !
hurray ? (:
this is to ! from my tagboard.
yeh. i may suck. but heck.
to each his/her own ?
at least i'm happy to be me ! (:
and no point saying sorry.
not like it'll make any difference right ?
went to church today.
then went to j8.
lunched with teresa.
walked around. chatted.
then back home !
gonna have piano later. darn.
my grandpa fell down ! ohno !
hope he's fine and well.
church camp's coming up.
don't think it'll be as nice ?
for one. it interrupts my special day.
and the grouping MIGHT remain the same.
and they won't even return us our phones !
they'll only return for a while.
then we gotta return them again.
not allowed to have them for the night.
my class is gonna lunch together after that.
decided to lunch at BREEKS afterall.
i'm freaking out for history.
can't seem to recall much.
and what am i doing here !
okay. i need all the luck i can get...
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Saturday, May 22, 2004
Overseas through the air
Touched your heart down with care
All the thoughts left behind
Soon will catch you in time
Well, if I could, you know I would
Let salvation reign on you
So, won't you push away
All this pain that you've been through
Yeah, Sister don't cry
Sister don't cry no more
Sister don't cry anymore
While the scenes shuffle 'round
Let your world anchor down
Pull your heart from your sleeve
First react then believe
You won't always get thunder
To warn you of storms ahead
So bury all this pain
And get on with your life again
Conquer some serenity
Lay yourself in fields of poetry
Close you eyes to all you see
Lay your weary head here with me
that is dedicated specially to
natalie, lorraine and all those cryin within.
be happy and smile ! (:
get everything off your mind.
hakuna matata ! `loveyoudearies ! (:
second time blogging today.
has been a pretty hectic day.
didn't go to mei's house in the end.
ended up going to central to walk.
bought stuff and all.
then realised rui didnt' take my notes.
so cabbed back to siewmin's house.
then cabbed back home.
parents are jus giving me hell.
they think they know me.
well guess what. THEY DON'T.
they don't know a shit about me.
i can't talk to them about anything !
and they think i've got a problem.
well sad to say. it ain't me.
everytime i even TRY to communicate with you
you refuse to listen. jus nag,lecture and comment.
like maybe for once. jus ONCE.
it would be nice if i could talk to you guys.
maybe one day. jus maybe.
happy birthday angie ! (:
church tomorrow.
gotta study history.
haven't started memorising the maps.
i've two ambitions now.
one is to be a psychologist.
another is to be a detective.
wonder why i even said that...
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
I could hang about and burn my fingers
I've been hanging out here
waiting for something to start
You think i'm faultless to a 't'
My manner set impeccably
But underneath i am the same as you
at siewmin's house now !
along with rui. and siewmin. duhh.
jus finished the yummy nasi lemak ! (:
they're studying. i'm slacking.
but i finished going through all chapts already !
so i think i have the right to slack. -grins-
had a couple of weird dreams AGAIN last night.
one was a basketball match.
played against the lakers i think ?
image slightly too vague to remember.
but beat them anyways !
another one was about a lil girl.
i was going to this building and met this girl.
brought her out for some time.
thn went back after a while to find her mummy.
every flight of steps we climbed,
there was this HUGE snail at one end. weird ?
then we couldn't find her momma.
so brought her home with me first.
then i called her mum with my phone.
her momma spoke chinese.
and i started the convo wth introducing myself ?
said i was from st nicks and stuff.
then when i asked her mum to come pick me
her mum jus remained silent on the other end.
called a second time.
when i asked her whether she wanted her daughter
she jus said "anything."
then i asked her how we were gonna meet.
and she remained silent again.
like ERR. okay...
that more or less sums up my weird dreams.
somehow i think its trying to tell me something.
but i jus don't know what !
anyone out there can interpret dreams ?
i think i narrowly escaped death this morning.
dad was driving me and rui.
it was pouring heavily.
when suddenly BOOM. -flashes of light-
this impact pushing against the car.
it was jus so frightening.
souded like a gunshot to me.
hm. wonder what was that...
one more day left to the big exam.
in other words.
one more day before i'm free !
somewhat so anyhow.
think rui and i gonna pay mei a visit later.
when siewmin goes for her facial.
ohwells. tata ! (:
and all the best studying to all out there ! (:
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Friday, May 21, 2004
Some take to violence
Streamlining their dreams
Some sit in silence
And learn what love can mean
Much further to go
Much further to crawl
But one day you'll find
The greatest love of all
The load is tough
The path is long
Strewn with rocks, yeah
But you'd be wrong, so wrong
One single spark
Can start a prairie fire
When one man speaks truth
He fills this world with pure desire
One day united
One day free
You'll be rewarded
The one true path is unity
Much further for truth
Much further to fall
I pray that you'll find
The greatest love of all
i dedicate this song to afew special people...
amelia, yiwei, jan and natalie.
be strong guys ! smile !
forget all your troubles !
hope to see you all cheery on monday !
loveyouallsoSOmuch ! (:
stayed back to study.
with meixian, lorraine, teresa, jingyu and rui.
then off to 7000 blue pinafores.
was pretty good i must say.
then off to dinner.
lorraine's bro fetched me and rui home.
some stuff happened. -winks at lorraine-
finished the notes for all chapts except 9.
plan is to finish it up tonight.
then when i'm going to study with pqs tomms.
at siewmin's house i think.
thn i'm gonna revise and memorise already.
full speed ahead for the wkend !
yeah. i need ALOT of will and determination.
the world's changing.
or is it jus us...?
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Thursday, May 20, 2004
For blaming myself for your unhappiness
and for my impatience
when I was perfect where I was.
Ignoring all the signs that I was not ready,
and expecting myself to be
where you wanted me to be
To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No one's been crueler than I've been to me.
dreamt of death again.
two died in my dreams last night.
i forgot one of them.
but the other one is... me.
yeah GREAT. 2nd time around.
its starting to get to me.
this time, i didn't wake up the next day.
i was really freaked out.
its really freaky. but thought-provoking.
in fact alot of things have been getting to me.
even going home myself is getting scary.
especially after i heard bout the
guy-slash-guy-with-penknife incident near my void deck.
and walking the other route didn't help much.
i heard a group of lians talking.
bout the slashing incident. eeks.
even rui's getting freaked out.
a girl our age had committed suicide last night.
jumping down from her block.
rui saw her dead body caught in the drain.
the world's changing ?
i think everyone is changing.
needless to say... me too.
and i'm sorry to everyone i have
unknowingly pissed the hell out off.
i guess the happiness didn't last TOO long.
i'm done with chapts 5, 10, 11, and 12.
that leaves me with 3 more chapts.
and thats the end of history.
sometimes i do wish dreams come true.
maybe my NON-existence would make many pple glad.
maybe i'm jus...
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
I'm not a rat to be spat on locked up in this room
Those bars that look towards the sun
at night look towards the moon
Everyday the swallows play in the clouds of love
Make me wish that i had wings take me high above
And i looked high and saw the empty sky
If i could only, i could only fly
I'd drift with them in endless space
But no man flies from this place
At night i lay upon my bench
and stare towards the stars
The cold night air comes creeping in
and home seems oh so far
If only i could swing upon
those twinkling dots above
I'd look down from the heavens
upon the ones i love
feel accomplished !
completed history chapts 5 and 10 already.
left with 5 chapters.
okay. drats. suddenly it sounds so loserish.
but i'm trying hard !
i jus hope its hard enough.
morning jog was indoors today.
got scolded by mrstan after that.
cos we all forgot the proper route.
thn went to the drama studio.
got scolded again.
somehow i think our batch is the worst ?
i guess its a fun batch.
and MYSTERIOUS one nevertheless.
but in terms of behaviour and stuff.
we're jus THE worse yet.
mrskwek talked bout vandalism.
and amelia, xiaojia, yiwei and me more or less solved the chuckie mystery. or at least got our prime suspect.
we're not saying anything though.
cos its only our analysation.
but ALL evidences more or less match up to HER.
okay. guess we jus gotta wait and see.
stayed back in school.
studied till 6 plus.
stayed with jingyu, teresa and rui,
jessalynn, abigail, daphne and louisa joined later.
we tried to play the perfect ten game thang.
couldn't call through though.
was quite frustrating.
but as usual. had loads of fun !
hahas. been having lotsa fun lately !
laughs, smiles ! anything happy ! (:
have chinese exam paper 1 tomms.
thn english CA paper.
but think i'm gonna skip english?
don't know yet. jus hope.
and the school's prepared activities for us.
jus the sec two batch.
there's a science fair expedition.
some interaction with other schools.
and some dance thing. with competition.
and its all within next week !
after our darn history exam.
even our home econs test is postponed !
sec two life jus rocks. (:
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
you are my strength when i am weak,
you are the shelter that i seek,
you are my all in all ;
that above is lyrics of a lovely song !
its actually a christian song.
forgot the actual lyrics.
but those were what me and lorraine cooked up.
we were deciding between shelter and treasure.
but i still prefer shelter. (:
anyways. i'm kinda rushing through ?
cos i need to go study.
note : its NEED and not WANT.
with 7 chapts of history and only 6 days left.
aimed to get off the comp by nine.
looks like i'm gonna be a slight bit late.
had a darn chem test today.
its quite tough !
especially if you compare it to term one's.
it jus ain't fair !
the standard is SO different.
but i hope i'll pass...
got full marks for adobe art test !
and an A1 overall for art.
thn a lousy B3 for english.
and 4/5 for dance test. HAHA.
but there's still a huge hurdle to cross.
which is darn darn history.
i suck at humanities ! not like i can help it.
went to macs after school.
along with rui, jingyu, lorraine and meixian.
we started scaring each other.
or more like scaring myself with chuckie.
its some psychotic doll btw.
there's some prankster (hopefully?) going around school with bloody chuckie doll pictures.
i haven't seen one before.
though i don't hope to either.
talked ALOT about this subject.
and other scary superstitions and stuff.
went to the playground and continued talking !
had so much fun, laughter and scare !
mum came to pick me up.
bought dinner and home.
now i'm off to study.
aiming to at least finish up chapt 5.
and start on ten before i sleep.
wish me luck ! (:
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Monday, May 17, 2004
Sometimes it's so hard to believe
When the nights can be so long
And faith gave me the strength
And kept me holding on
stayed back in school to study today.
along with rui, lorraine, jingyu and jessalynn.
lorraine left halfway through.
studied and played and slept.
i can't believe i actually fell asleep !
on rui's lap for like half an hour ?
she was complaining of numbness. HAHAS.
but it felt so good.
felt energised after that nice nap ! (:
fooled around with abigail and pokehh.
was hilarious ! whee !
left at bout 6plus.
went out to macs.
mum came to fetch.
and me and rui did a good deed !
found this pinafore at macs.
offered to help return it !
so gonna pass it to the office tomms.
darn chem test tomms.
its quite okay actually.
beats bio for one.
my focus is more or less coming back ?
but still abit lost around. ah.
but i've been happy ! (:
so thanks everyone for the concern.
but i'm fine yeh ? (:
have some dance exam tomms.
and got back maths class test !
did MUCH better than the last one.
christinatan commented too.
from a 2/10 to a 30/40 ! (:
there's a few reasons as to why i
look forward to morning assemblies.
and thats cos of the bitching with amelia !
so this is to you...
amelia hey dear ! i don't know why you're down or anything. looks like you've been putting on a rather cheerful act ? but today i managed to see the troubled you. and i want you to know that you being happy makes me happy too ! and i enjoy those bitching sessions and fun times we have had and will have together. so cheer up yeh ? i'll ALWAYS be here for you ! no matter what ! ( psst. and you've got sth to show me tomms RIGHT ? ) smile girl ! (: `iloveyou ! hakuna matata ;
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Sunday, May 16, 2004
I'm all at sea
Where no one can bother me
Forgot my roots
If only for a day
Just me and my thoughts
Sitting far away
Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul
Please just leave me right here on my own
Later on you could spend some time with me
If you want to, all at sea
went to church.
then for lunch at thomson.
wanted to buy the budaoweng thingy.
met eliza, abigail, ms foo, mrs tan and mel there !
then walked home from bishan.
mad and crazy me.
haven't been able to focus on stuff.
ytd i thought it was jus cos i was tired.
turned out today i was...'lost' again.
even dad noticed ?
he told dominic to question me.
and then my parents started questioning me.
asked if it was boy problems ?
like HELLO ?! hell no.
thn my mum said " if you do have (a boyfriend) you can tell us. its not like i don't allow or anything."
YEH SURE. that isn't even the point !
okay. but i've no idea whats up with me.
bro msged me one harsh msg.
and i started crying on the couch.
felt much better after that.
but thought things through.
and absolutely NOTHING's bothering me !
but why am i so...troubled !?
did some survey for class today.
did some self-reflection.
and fromt that i can confirm...
i have no problems.
so what the hell's wrong with me !
maybe some things in life,
are jus gonna remain a mystery.
anyways...
jeanette and mark
hey guys. look. i'm really sorry bout today k. not that i think i did anything wrong to begin with. i only msged ONE pathetic msg. but what the heck. sorry ?
the lie of the century to another
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Saturday, May 15, 2004
someday when we are wiser
when the world's older
when we have lived
had yet another fun day !
started off pretty badly.
argued with my mum in the car.
wasn't fully awake during training.
couldn't seem to think.
fell a couple of times.
was totally off-form. eeks.
thn went off to town.
with teresa, rui, jessalynn, jingyu and siewmin.
watched 50 first dates !
its so darn freaking nice ! (:
a pity such guys don't exist in singapore.
rui and pokehh watched van helsing instead.
heard it was nice too !
pokehh and siewmin left after that.
walked around taka and wisma.
thn to marche for snacks.
we were quite broke actually.
but teresa's mum came to deliver cash.
so three of them ate. i watched.
thn some stupid stuff happened.
went back after that...
did some history notes.
didn't touch science.
no more training till next next wk.
now everytime i see an ant.
i'm reminded of habukkuk.
everytime i see that container.
i'm reminded of habukkuk.
OKAY. i'm obessing. over a spider.
it probably hates me to begin with.
for taking away its freedom.
and not to mention, its life.
i'm so bored !
bro's at a concert.
studying sucks.
parents are SO demanding.
but i'm enjoying life !
life is great ! (:
fun is all i want ! (:
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Friday, May 14, 2004
happy birthday jonathan !
you're 16 already !
all movies are open to you !
you're on year older so act that way
don't be as childish no more ! -grinns-
today has been a happy day !
but a day to remember.
i lost a 'friend' if mine.
though i've only known it for bout 2 days
i feel i've grown attached to it.
to all of you out there
it may jus be a gross and eeky spider.
but to me. it took my worries away.
it occupied my lonely and boring times.
it was THERE for me. literally.
but now... its gone. forever.
it was murdered.
and the murderer(s) have admitted.
it was found squashed on the outer surface of its made-to-be natural habitat.
in compensation for the murder.
i can get any animal i want.
but i don't wanna exploit.
and not that it could ever be the same.
iloveyouhabbukuk`andillmissyou.
had so much fun after training today.
the whole of pqs hung out.
at our very own hockey pitch.
played around. danced. laughed. lamed.
jus funfunFUN ! (:
there's training tomms again.
thn maybe going out after that.
shopping ? movie ? don't know yet.
today has been a nice day.
and i want more of it.
except for the faithful departure though.
that definitely can be left out...
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Thursday, May 13, 2004
I've heard how some people, have said
That i've changed
That i'm not what i was
How it really is a shame
The thoughts in their heads,
Manifest on their brow
Like bad scars from ill feelings
They themselves arouse
So hateful of anyone that is happy
Or 'free'
They live all their lives,
Without looking to see
The light that has lighted the world
It's funny how people, just won't
Accept change
As if nature itself - they'd prefer
Re-arranged
So hard to move on
When you're down in a hole
Where there's so little chance,
To experience soul
I'm greatful to anyone,
That is happy or 'free'
For giving me hope
While i'm looking to see
The light that has lighted the world
the title of the above song is...
the light that has lighted the world
frm the album of
george harrison
album entitled
light from this material world
its so meaningful.
and so true too.
halfway through assembly today.
someone passed down 18 stars to me.
the person's identity still remains unknown.
but the message along with it was...
to give you all the light you can get
so nice ! so sweet !
a gazillion thanks to whoeveryouare !
ever wondered what the word 'sorry' means ?
i don't know myself either.
but if sorry could cure all hurt.
then that'll be good.
sometimes people make mistakes.
yes. i don't deny that.
sorry is definitely the best word then.
but what if something is done on purpose.
maybe subconciously. but still purposely.
thn doesn't sorry take on no meaning ?
like the famous yanchengxu said many a times in the show "meteor garden" :
if sorry had any use at all,
why would we still need the police ?
it does make some sense. if not all.
hm. definitely sth worth thinking about.
limfangteng said sth that striked me.
though i can't remember what it is.
but i know it was so... true !
i'm starting to stuff myself again.
my appetite isn't back.
i'm still down on my what used to be HUGE appetite.
but i'm stuffing myself.
with chocolates, chips, whatever.
andandAND. i'm drinking lotsa milk.
i've no idea whats going on.
jus so many cravings with small appetite.
and i feel so... energyless lately.
hakuna matata.
and i'm not angry with anyone.
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Hey, time won't wait
Life goes by
Every day's a brand new sky
Every tear
Comes to dry
All that really matters in this crazy world
Is you and I together, baby
Just remember
The first leaves off the tree
The way you look at me
A thousand chiming church bells ring
The simple things are free
The sun, the moon, the stars
The beating of two hearts
How I love the simple things
The simple things just are
hm. haven't been to blogger.
seems like things have changed.
its quite nice. i guess.
but needs some getting used to.
failed my history. badly.
10 / 25. like hurray?
thing is. no one can say i didn't study.
cos i got the whole first section correct?
other than a slight spelling error.
BUT. the whole back page is wrong.
only got half a mark out of a full 15.
ms keh wanted to see me.
luckily she 'understood'.
hope i'll be motivated.
only one last major exam for history.
and thats the end of history this year !
but 7 chapters ! someone help me...
had higher chinese test today.
was okay i suppose.
hopefully it won't be too disappointing.
stayed back today for no reason.
hung around with jingyu, rui and meixian.
thn walked home with rui.
as usual. alot of crap ! (:
training tomms.
and there's morning jog.
and i have undone maths.
i attempted it.
but jus failed to complete it.
whats up with my brain.
now i even doubt i have one ?
AHHHH. i'm jus gonna flunk everything.
and there's nothing i can do about it.
it doesn't make a difference if i study or not.
anyways. i think i'm getting my (: mood back !
yayee ! whee ! goodie ! ladeedums !
hopefully it lasts too.
guess my vision is cleared... (:
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Sunday, May 09, 2004
You've been telling everybody
How much you love me
But I don't know, I don't know
You throw your arms around me
Tell me that you missed me
Is that so, I don't know
'Cause I see you everywhere
And you're always on my mind
And I see you everywhere
No more crying now, no more crying
happy mothers day ! (:
hm. spent the whole day out today.
went to church in the morning.
thn went off to gramps place for lunch.
disappointing enough.
it wasn't a family gathering.
it was jus a visit to my gramps.
not that i don't like it or anything.
jus thought it nicer to have everyone.
so had lunch. grandmum gave me 50bucks !
in the new plastic notes. its darn nice.
it can't tear and its so... classy. whee !
ilovemygrandparents ! (:
and my grandpa lost so much weight !
he looks kinda frail now. and he's proud of it?
he lost 4kg in recent weeks...
i almost cried out at the lunch table.
after i screamed at my bro.
i jus... teared. so went aside to freshen up.
don't know why either. hm.
thn went off to town.
shopped at taka.
saw alot of couples.
and it was quite funny actually.
there was one bout to get married.
one who jus had a fight.
and many others...
a good pastime while waiting for my parents.
dad dropped me off at heeren with my mum.
wanted to buy sth from annex.
but it was under renovation.
so couldn't get hold of it. ohwells.
bro is treating me to his sfx concert thang.
say its for my birthday. like YEAH SURE.
going out this saturday !
gonna watch winadatewithtadhamilton !
i think. i hope.
been down on my appetite recently.
and many things have been going on.
like teresa said.
people are getting weaker.
especially emotionally.
i seriously hope i'm not ?
jus dunno whats happening.
but i think its cos of this hectic world.
people used to jus enjoy the simple things in life.
like going to the river. fishing. swimming.
playing with marbles. rubberbands. and other stuff.
now everythings so complicated.
and not to mention how people have turned cold.
i wish time could be turned back.
even if it means there being no such thing as
phones or cameras or computers.
at least people will be happy.
isn't that whats most important in life ?
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Saturday, May 08, 2004
I'm doin' this tonight,
You're probably gonna start a fight.
I know this can't be right.
Hey baby come on,
I loved you endlessly,
When you weren't there for me.
So now it's time to leave and make it alone
I know that I can't take no more
It ain't no lie
I wanna see you out that door
Don't wanna be a fool for you
Just another player in your game for two
You may hate me but it ain't no lie,
Don't really wanna make it tough,
I just wanna tell you that I had enough.
It might sound crazy,
But it ain't no lie.
Just hit me with the truth,
Now, girl you're more than welcome to.
So give me one good reason,
Baby come on
I live for you and me,
And now I really come to see,
That life would be much better once you're gone.
okay great. my computer is in total shit.
mom's friend was supposed to repair it.
not damage it. a pathetic state now.
all my files and pictures are gone.
the colour for everything sucks.
i can't view blogs properly.
and everythings jus so different.
why can't everything jus stay the same.
thats right. EVERYTHING. even my pathetic life.
and wanyin's computer's equally pathetic.
we're going through the same shits.
computer problems. maths problems. etc.
butbutBUT. we're cute shites. hahas. (:
went for training early this morning.
injured myself on the finger before training.
darn painful. especially with the alcohol swab.
thn had training. wasn't that intense.
after training. me rui and some juniors sat around.
didn't talk much. was planning some picnic.
hahas. can't wait for the picnic ! (:
thn started playing lame games with yuai and jess.
was lame. but still fun-filled.
thn went off with amy.
bought some stuff to eat.
thn made our way to dhoby ghaut.
to meet wanyin and xiaojia.
started our 'tour'.
walked from dhobyghaut to national library.
thn to the asian civilisation museum.
thn to the esplanade.
took a super nice ride via trishaw to clarke quay.
was super nice and fun ! better than taxis.
at least the weather was nice.
so it was kinda windy and cooling.
thn we went off from there.
wanyin went home first. thn xiaojia.
amy and i went to j8.
talked, ate, drank and walked around. duhh.
thn went back home !
where i found my computer in the destruction process.
guess i'm slightly happier today.
don't know why either.
going over to grandparents house tomms.
so gotta finish my stuff today. hopefully.
i hate my computer ! eeks.
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Friday, May 07, 2004
Face I am nothing face
Complete by sarcastic tastes
What a waste I think I'd rather die
Wanting never gaining I find myself pondering life
Always situations I can never hide
Crying tears of anger, hate
Depressed I never know the me,
never know what to do
Slit pour out the life a bottle of the "vive"
A desperate cry for something else to justify
I'm in a daze caused by pain
A failing force that wants to change
Painting the white to grey
Numb body shivering
Blood dripping from the skin
Painting the white to grey
Plastic always drastic
These scars will never clear
I'll never be the same little one
with hopes of one day maybe being sane
I might have tried before...but I locked the door
Now I need a reason to unlock it
no one bothers.
no one even cares.
am i jus that feelingless idiot ?
there to take all the shit.
ever wondered how people say...
"i'll always be there for you"
but whenever you want them around
they're out having fun
and not even bothering bout your existence?
how suddenly you're alone
without people who claimed they will ALWAYS be there for you
whats the meaning of always
or does it have no meaning at all
people only bother bout being happy
they don't bother if others are happy or not
yet when people are down
we're EXPECTED to be there for them
if not we're tagged with the name "selfish" or not a "friend" or "insensitive ?
but when we're down or depressed
we're said to be "affecting others"
which is yet again a very selfish act
people jus do the things they do
people don't care
but why do i seem to fall into their trap
oh yes. i know why.
cos i'm unimportant.
and my existence doesn't matter.
kindly ignore that chunk above.
i've been happy recently. even today.
but why i broke dwn in tears today ?
i myself am clueless. i just did.
for no rhyme or reason.
but the tears jus kept fighting to come out.
i couldn't hold them back.
regardless of how hard i try.
thanks teresa for being there for me !
thanks to some for making this day a tough day for me !
ipw presentation sucked.
the mental skills training was good.
so was the yummy cake.
but almost broke dwn on the walk home.
in fact. i did tear.
insensitivity of some are getting the better of me.
happy birthday pokehh !
there won't be another 'day' for us. or me.
but it doesn't make no difference anyways...
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Thursday, May 06, 2004
When your hero falls from grace,
all fairy tales are uncovered
Myth exposed and pain magnified,
the grace pays uncovered
He told me to be strong,
but I confused to see it so weak
You say never to give up,
and it hurts to see what comes to be
When your hero falls soley the stars,
and so does the reception of tomorrow
Without my hero, theres only me alone,
to deal with my sorrow
Your heart ceases to work,
and your soul is not happy at all
What are you expected to do,
when your only hero falls
i kinda like those lyrics above?
its jus so... nice. and meaningful.
hai. trying to do the darn ipw now.
not last minute only.
and realised there's alot to be done.
and so little time left.
so conversing with yiwei and amelia now.
limfangteng didn't come today ?
some say she's too angry with us and stuff.
but think she's sick. hope it is too.
i mean. rather than be guilt-stricken.
on account that she scolded some of us ytd.
so christinatan took over her lesson.
two consecutive hours of maths ?
wasn't complaining too much though.
not that there was a point to anyhow.
had pe and it had to rain.
so had some theory thing.
thn practiced 5items and breakoff.
had englishlit. msnair rawks ! (:
she's super funny and sacarstic.
not to mention MUCH happier nowadays.
we suspect she's in love ?
with that additional ring on her finger.
msrockey / mrsgobi didn't come.
so went to the MPR room.
fooled around and all. fun fun fun ! (:
stayed there for assembly.
had the speech competition.
way to go wei wei ! nice job !
some charity girl won.
don't exactly think she deserves the champ title ?
i think hannah deserved it MUCH more.
it fact. cristal deserved it more than her too.
well. obviously thats only my insignificant opinion.
had napfa 5 items after that !
everything except for my shuttlerun and jump improved.
but those two were like... my best last year?
shuttlerun : 10.2
standingbroadjump : 191
sit-ups : 38
sit and reach : 42
pullups : 26
great. they all suck.
and i wasn't even in a good condition for the test.
ohwells. it pays to take 2.4run late.
and can't stand mrwong ! or whatever his name.
that short-tongue guy.
i actually thought it mean how pple laughed at him.
but he's such and ass !!!
first he didn't have a pen and told me after i ran to go to another teacher. so i ran for nothing ?
luckily haiping offered me her pen.
thn he didn't let me nor amy rerun shuttle.
cos he said "like that still want to run again!"
like hello ? i have the right to have two attempts?
so went to mrphee. and he let me run.
ran and i slipped and fell.
i was so angry already cos of that teacher.
and i jus sat there and threw the beanbag down hard.
i was so pissed off ! kinda threw a tantrum.
thn got up and ran. my left arm hurt quite abit.
and my left ankle was practically giving way.
had to put up with the pain throughout.
not to mention the muscleaches
and leg cramps cos of the 2.4run yesterday.
went to the soyabean shop after that.
along with rui, meixian and lorraine.
me and rui were talking bout the old times.
brought back all the memories...
thn rui and i walked home.
talked about our families.
reached her house already but stil not done.
so we jus stood there and talked ?
think we looked kinda funny lah. hahas.
mrskwek ain't coming tomms.
there's a darn ipw presentation.
and a mental skills training workshop.
its gonna be a long day...
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
I see dark clouds out my window
I know the storm is coming any minute
And the thunder just confirms my fears
And i know the tears are in there
I'll be crying unable to stop
Look here comes the very first drop
'cause every time it rains
I fall to pieces
So many memories the rain releases
I feel you... i taste you
I cannot forget
Every time it rains... i get wet
i've been in this darn good mood recently.
i wonder why but its been nice.
i've never felt so physically tired in ages.
had 'mo xie' today.
thn got lectured by limfangteng ?
had home econs.
walked so much and did so much.
was so tired and couldn't sit dwn.
thn had my darn 6 rounds.
off my target by 3secs. 12min33sec.
was having leg cramp. on my left leg.
nat fell really sick and in alot of pain ?
so helped her back to class.
cramp still wasn't okay. and had a headache.
had elit and 'composed' a poem.
thn maths. which totally reeks.
and chemistry. its okay.
its pretty rare i actually understand the stuff.
for to the old folks' home after skool.
mrschristinatan accompanied us.
it was pretty tough to start conversations.
but they're really pitiful ?
i don't blame them for their bad-temper.
one 94 year old lady was telling me bout her life.
its REALLY sad ? she almost cried telling it.
seems like studying history does come in handy.
saw the supposed 'laughing buddha'.
she's super cute ! (:
she asked us for 4digits to buy 4d.
so xiaojia, nat, wanyin and i each gave a digit.
thn she jus keeps laughing !
there were some others that we talked to.
me and xiaojia more or less stuck to each other.
before their dinner we talked to one or two.
one said "last time when i was younger, every time i saw an old folk i'd run away. good that now you all come to see us." HAHAS.
thn we were suppsoed to wheel them to dinner.
there was one no one was really willing to push.
so i went to push her.
she patted me on the shoulder saying "very good!"
like YAYEE ! i made someone happy today. (:
it was easier to talk to the females.
on the whole had some enriching experiences.
went back via MRT afterwards.
met raycoon on the way home.
he shunned me and i kinda shunned him ?
i walked by the overheadbridge.
and he went by the traffic lights.
and i purposely took the lift on the other side.
so i won't meet him ?
its jus really awkward lah.
don't get it? we're all neighbours what.
don't even know why i posted that (points above) ?
have so much work to do !
maths, science, art, chinese test...
there's napfa 5 items tomms ! eeks.
and some mental training thingy on friday.
so no training. and i missed training today !
and training and trip around s'pore on saturday.
busy, tired, poor ol' me.
but i'm still maintaining the happy smiley me !
and cos of today's CIP trip.
i've kinda gotten used to smiling and waving?
but like i said before.
i think little laura is back... whee! (:
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Monday, May 03, 2004
I remember all those nights I used to stay at home
On the phone, all night long
You used to talk about the things we really wanna do
I believed in you
I remember how you used to say
Have no fear, be OK
When you told me anything you want is possible
We could have it all
I believed in you
Must have been a fool
All my dreams were with you
I say, it's OK
I can promise you it's alright
You ain't keeping me up all night no more
You're not here
today has been a happy but bad day.
i've been happy.
but stuff hasn't been all too good.
had music quiz.
what has seafood or french street gotta do with music?
argh. don't get it.
but worst thing.
i don't get how i could have written seafood as
'grub' instead of 'crab'. heck it.
thn had english summary.
spent quite some time on the wrong passage.
and max words = 160.
i wrote ? barely more than a 100.
NOT gonna fail only. and its a CA paper.
thn had pop maths test.
like WOW? i failed. great.
i should rejoice the fact that teacher's don't get negative marks, or anything below zero.
three tests i'm so gonna fail in.
music... won't fail.
but no prize. darn.
but had the singing test during recess.
with pqs. and we got an A grade!
hooray for us ! (:
went with mei to rui's hse after skool.
finished my art piece there.
after alot of hussle and laughter.
had alot of fun today with them! (:
they never cease to make my day.
have a busy week ahead.
tomms there's a history test.
old folks home visit on wednesday.
thursday's gonna be SO tiring.
i've got 2.4 run and 5 items.
friday there's training.
sat there's training.
going with amy around s'pore to do our chinese.
if you have nothing nice to say.
then don't say anything at all.
natalie ! thanks sweetie for helping me print the stuff. now me and jan owe you a movie treat yeah ? soon soon. we already decided on the movie though. hahas. loveyoudearie ! (:
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Sunday, May 02, 2004
The party's on the room is crowded
your conversation is so polite
And when you dance you keep your distance
noone's gonna walk you home tonight
You're searching for perfect love
you dreamed of when you were young
you'll find it or you won't have anyone
Why not forget your crazy dream
about a love that can't exist
'Coz while you dream so much you miss
you waste a lifetime
Just take a look below the surface
his golden hair will be turning grey
Though in your mind you pictured heaven
even heaven has a rainy day
No one can touch a dream
so forever you've been on your own
you're older and you are still all alone
had a nice day today !
hm. realise i've been having nice days.
thats good i suppose. whee ! (:
woke up rather early today.
picked rui and meixian thn went to skool.
mrng was waiting already.
picked up the sticks thn picked teresa.
mum fetched us to delta.
sat around and listened to music.
thn watched their match.
coach OVERestimates me lah.
he thinks i'm the strongest or sth ?
made me carry 15 bottles of mineral water.
cheered for them and all.
they played well ! well done pals ! (:
after their match me and rui played around.
and i jus swept this MAGNIFICENT sweep.
never seen before and will be seen again.
coming from scrawny me that is.
it was a flying ball.
hit one said of the goalpost and deflected in.
even the coach applauded for me. (:
i'll never forget that moment. -sniffs-
hahas. but it was really nice.
no means of bragging here really.
coach told me to do that every time.
like HELLO !? that was a miracle.
okay anyways. started pouring.
so we were stuck there for some time.
had to walk out in the rain in the end.
cos the uncle needed to lock the place up.
went to plaza sing.
pqs + minfang + lingyi and jess
had pizza hut ! yumyums ! (:
went to amk central with rui and teresa.
bought empty cds to burn songs.
thn i walked home.
had piano. played pretty well.
had stupid aural practice.
i jus HATE it. argh.
have so much undone homework?
some chinese worksheet.
art assignment. darn.
and have to mug for history.
like wish me luck ? eeks.
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
Saturday, May 01, 2004
Where do i begin
To tell the story of how great a love can be
The sweet love story that is older than the sea
The simple truth about the love she brings to me
Where do i start
With her first hello
She gave new meaning to this empty world of mine
There'll never be another love, another time
She came into my life and made the living fine
She fills my heart
She fills my heart with very special things
With angels' songs , with wild imaginings
She fills my soul with so much love
That everywhere i go i'm never lonely
With you my love, who could be lonely
I reach for her hand-it's always there
How long does it last
Can love be measured by the hours in a day
I have no answers now but this much i can say
I know i'll need her till the stars all burn away
And she'll be there
okay. heard this song on radio.
doesn't apply to me.
but still sweet and nice! (:
yes yes. today has been good !
woke up at round 11plus.
bro went out to buy macs for lunch.
then he went out.
thn i went out to meet teresa.
met her at j8 and went to MUJI.
settled lorraine and meixian's stick problem.
and they owe us BIG time. yupyup.
wanted to attend mass at ctk.
realised it started at 5.20 only at 5.34!
so went to svdp instead.
met lorraine and went to church.
thn we went to hougang point.
the journey there was super funny.
overshot by a bus stop.
ended up walking quite a distance.
thn while walking we tripped alot.
except teresa maybe. but me and lorraine...
had coffee bean for dinner ?!
thn i still bought oldchangkee.
poor throat of me...
with my greed it won't recover anytime soon.
someone help me!!! save me!!!
thn lorraine's sis dropped me off.
she's super scary k.
now i'm starting to appreciate my brother.
took a long lonely and scary ride home.
it was so dark,creepy and lonely at the bus stop.
dad came back frm china today.
bought a swarovski crystal cross for me.
its darn nice ! thanks papa ! (:
i did 2 good deeds today !
first. i saved meixian and lorraine.
secondly. i got my block's lift working again.
i ran up to the fifth floor.
it was stuck there.
so i did SOMETHING.
and it started operating again.
yayee ! i feel good ! (:
gotta wake up damn early tomms.
going dwn to support lorraine and meixian.
its all the way at delta at 9.
-yawns- i can feel my blackeyebags already...
a memory trying to find a piece of time ;
